I’m grateful for…….old friends
03 Jul 2011 5 Comments
in Friends Tags: friends, grateful, School reunion
This weekend I have had a lovely visitor. A girlfriend I have known since I was 12 years old. Kylie drove 5 hours to spend some time with me and I am so very grateful for having a friend willing to do that.
I met Kylie in year 7 and our friendships had ups and downs over the 4 years we spent together at school. We went on holidays together, had many sleep overs at each other houses, and spent a lot of time hanging out and talking about books, boys, movies and all those other teenage things.
We went our separate ways when we were 16 – me to stay on at school, and Kylie started growing up & joining the real world. But we were still friends, we still saw each other at parties and had dinner and went to the movies. Then I left our small town to go to uni. We saw each other in the uni holidays, but we were really growing in different directions. I went to her wedding, she had lunch with me & my then husband when we visited that small town on our honeymoon. And then that was it. Life moved on, each of us busy with our own lives.
8 years ago we found each other through the schoolfriends website. I was a Mum with 2 small children, and she was about to have her son. And then again we lost touch. A school reunion last year, and the wonders of Facebook, put us in touch again. And so she came to visit and we were able to spend some wonderful time together.
And it was like time hadn’t passed. We were able to talk about some many things, and to be able to just be together comfortably. To catch up on the last 20 odd years of each others lives, talk about our children, the wonderful things that have happened to each us, and the not so great. To be able to talk about our plans for the future & just to sit together. To know that I could do all the normal Saturday things with my boys, and she could meet up with another friend, and that it was OK to be doing that.
Long friendships and old friends are special – I am so very grateful to have an old friend like Kylie, and so many others that I have held dear to me for a long time. These friendships help to ground me, make me remember where I have been, who I was and who I now am. And I am also so very grateful for all the amazing methods we now have to be able to easily stay in touch with these friends, no matter where they live or how often you see them.
Reunion
14 Jun 2010 3 Comments
in Friends Tags: friends, School reunion
Well I went – travelled up on 2 planes to the NSW North Coast for my school reunion. The weather on Saturday was lovely – warm and sunny, though all the locals informed me it was freezing. They were a bit astounded when I informed that it was actually hot and that it had been below zero when I left home that morning.
Flew into town and was picked up my wonderful friend who I hadn’t seen in 14 years. She hadn’t changed one bit, or if anything was more glamourous and more elegant than before. Lunch at the beach and then I went to my hotel. Had a lovely walk along the beach above and climbed over the headland, reliving memories from the past. Things had changed, like the path was now paved, but nothing had changed. And then it was time for the reunion.
Another special friend picked me up, removing the fear of arriving in a room of strangers on my own. But you know what? Not one person was a stranger. There was people from all the different groups at school there. While some cliques stuck together, most people moved and mingled with each other and discovered how the last 20 years were spent. So many people greeted each other with hugs & kisses, and there was a really lovely feel in the room.
And what did I discover? That some people do not change or grow up. But on the whole most people, even the truly horrible boys, grow up to be lovely people. I was able to tell one of the boys men how awful he had been to me at school – and he didn’t even remember that. The girls who intimidated me at school aren’t intimidating any more. Our lives are all fairly similar and a lot of them are people,. whom if I met them now, would end up being close friends. Everyone looked the same, but with just a few wrinkles, grey hair or a bit of extra weight. I feel like I have left some of the demons that have haunted me since school behind. And for 2 days I got to be me, the person I was 20 years ago. Not someone’s mother and not someone’s ex wife. It was me being me.
The thing that disappointed me? Some of the people I would have liked to have seen didn’t come, including ones that are still living in the town. But then I guess reunions aren’t for everyone. Only one teacher came to either of our functions – and it was awesome he came. A number of other teachers, who no longer were involved with the school sent apologies. But none of the other teachers, including ones who are still teaching at the school, turned up. It would have been nice for them to pop in for 5 minutes to the BBQ we had at the school on Sunday at lunchtime. The current school principal came to the evening function, but he may as well not have bothered. He stood off to one side for half the night, and most of us couldn’t work out who he was anyway, made a short speech and then left. I don’t think he spoke to anyone there. And apparently his wife is the sister of one of the boys from our year – she just glared at everyone all night, and we found out the next day who she was. And then there were some girls who were incapable of leaving the past behind. They took the opportunity to get stuck into a couple of the guys about the way they had behaved at school and call them names. My questions is – why come?
Overall it was a really positive experience for me. I am so pleased to have gone and so pleased to have made connections again with some old friends – people who I plan to now stay in touch with. As one of the guys said to me – the people that come to these things are the ones to care enough about meeting up with each other. It was lovely to see conversations between people who barely spoke at school. I would encourage anyone to attend their reunion after the experience I have had this weekend.
Visiting your past…..
11 May 2010 Leave a Comment
in Friends Tags: friends, history, School reunion
School reunions – what do you think of them?
In one month I will be heading to northern NSW to attend my 21 year high school reunion. It is scary enough to contemplate that it has been 21 years since I was a student at high school, let alone how everyone will have changed.
My memories of high school aren’t great. I was picked on & bullied in year 8 by a group of boys, some of whom will be at the reunion. This was something that had a massive impact on my self confidence and self image throughout my life. I wasn’t one of the cool kids or the sporty kids. I guess I was kind of a nerdy intelligent kid, but one who dressed well due to my parents owning one of the coolest clothing stores in town.
There are very few people from high school I have stayed in contact with. Facebook has renewed some links, including to people I barely spoke to (or who barely spoke to me) in high school. But I think I have probably caught up with maybe 2 high school friends in the last 10 years.
So why go? Why pay the enormous amount of money to spend 4 hours in planes and airports, splash out on a hire car & nice accommodation to see people I haven’t cared enough about to stay in contact with?
I guess it is the wanting to know. Wanting to know if people really do change and grow up. Wanting to know if the super glam girl still is beautiful and glam, wanting to know if the smart kid has had a brilliant career and wanting to know how I measure up with my contemporaries.
And then there is part of me that would love to renew old friendships. Spend some time with people who knew me before I became what I am now. People who have a shared past. I don’t have a lot of people in my life these days who remember being a teenager with me. My brother died at 21, removing that potential for long term rememberances. And without any other family close to my age, it leaves just me, to remember things. Things like early morning bus trips to go to Seaworld. Overnight bus trips for school excursions. Being in a school that was constantly experimenting with new ideas in educational theories. Sharing the strange things some of our teachers did & coming to the realisation that most of them weren’t that much older than me (and younger than me now) and that they were also in the process of still learning about themselves and growing up.
So I am going and I am going to have a great time. I am going to put all the past hurts behind me & try to forget about any embarrassing things I said and did as a teenager. I am going to be open to whatever happens. And I am going to treasure some new memories as I catch up with some very dearly missed old friends.
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