What’s in a name?
22 Apr 2010 4 Comments
in Family Tags: Family, marriage, names
I have been thinking about how my name defines me this week. I have been a single Mum now for 5 1/2 years, but I still have my ex husbands last name. And I just don’t know what to do about it.
As a young bride the first thing I did was to change my name. Why? Well after 24 years of being teased about my last name I wanted one that would avoid any chance of being teased. I was also sick of always needing to spell it and correct the pronounciation – and it was only 5 letters! My then husbands last name had one extra letter, I thought people would know how to spell it & pronounciation was easy. But 14 years on I am still having to spell my last name. I also wanted to be defined as his wife….maybe I felt more grown up.
When our children were born there was no thought to hyphenated names or using my last name. They had his and I felt we were then a family.
5 1/2 years down the track he is long gone & yet I still have his name. And I don’t know if I want it.
I try to say to myself that this isn’t his name, it is actually my boys name and that is what I am using. I tell myself that I feel like this person now, but do I really? My professional reputation is now known under this name and to change this would involve changing of stationery, but I’ve just about run out of business cards and so maybe now is the time.
Do I want to go back to being known as my father’s daughter? Would I feel like I was that young girl again? I am proud of my father and what he has achieved. I would be comfortable as being immediately recognisable by name as my mothers daughter and being linked by old time Canberrans with my grandparents.
Maybe I pick a completely new name?
I am really wrestling with this and trying to find a solution that I feel comfortable with. It feels like a huge leap – do I take it?
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